I love teaching. Maybe I do because it kind of runs in my blood, after all, my mom, dad, aunt and Grandfather, they all teach.
Since I am known for being a good teacher in the class, I am always approached by my classmates for help, which I gladly do.
So, two years ago, one of my classmate, who used to face a lot of trouble in Math, came to me for help. I looked at the question he was stuck in and showed him how to do a sum like that with another example. He thanked me and went. I was not sure he had really understood or not since he was very playful by nature, still I let him go. The next day, as my Math sir was discussing the sums, he came and stopped at the sum in which I had helped my friend the previous day. Looking around the class, he asked which of the students would like to solve the sum on the board, to everyone’s surprise, Abdul (The boy whom I helped), raised his hand. The teacher called him to the front of the class and handed him the chalk. Being his first time, that he was solving a sum on the board with the whole class looking, he was extremely nervous. He turned and started writing on the board, his hands shivering so much that not even his 1 came straight. Slowly and carefully he did out the sum on the board and it came out right! He was praised by teacher and he felt proud.
As I sat in my place, watching him being praised, tears came to my eyes. He was the boy with the most playful nature in class, and hardly had any interest in studies and yet, he had gone to the board and done out the sum. I felt like a proud teacher whose student had passed the test. On the way back to his place, he came to me and asked me, “Did I do it okay?”
I just looked at his uncertain expression for a second and then smiled saying, “You did perfect.”
My answer made his face brighten up with a smile. He then thanked me profusely and went back to his place, happy with his achievement, and I watched, with proud tears in my eyes, as my student went back to his place happily after passing his test with flying colors.
Moved to Tears
Yesterday night has been a weird one. Yesterday, I started reading the book ‘The Perks Of Being a Wallflower’ by Stephen Chbosky. It is a really nice book and I enjoyed it a lot. However, at night, at around twelve, when my sister was chatting with her friend, I reached the end of the book and I started to cry. It was not awkward because I started to cry, it was just weird because the book has a happy ending and I cried because everything was just so happy. I mean, I wouldn’t say that the language of the book is really amazing and it holds amazing literature value or something but the way it is written is so beautiful that it really touches your heart.
I just sat there, hugging my knees smiling and crying at the same time. Happy at the happy ending and crying… even I don’t know why. My sister sat next to me and tried to console me but even that didn’t work and then after a while I started thinking about the last time I had cried this hard. So hard the my eyes were red. It was at that point that I remembered that the last time I had cried this hard, I was in a similar situation. I had been crying as well as smiling at the same time. It was when my best friend, IPKKND, ended. The whole day of 30th November 2012, I tried to ignore that fact that, that day would be the last episode I’d see, however, at night, when I finally sat to watch the final episode, it struck me, like a hammer on my head, that, this would be the last episode of my best friend. And I cried really hard, so hard that my eyes were red. But during the episode, there were few such moments that were very touching, in a happy way that I was smiling, rather laughing and crying at the same time. Something I didn’t think was possible.
It is a very weird situation to be in, to be happy and sad at the same time, but sometimes, things just touch your heart in such a way that all types of emotions come tumbling out, and when we get confused about what to do, we just cry, cry it all it all out.
Over the last two weeks I have been feeling quite irritated. I mean I just want to hug someone and cry, and keep crying till my tears run dry. All of you must be thinking that if I want to cry then i should just cry it out right? Then why haven’t I done so yet. The problem is I am not getting the person whom I want to hug. I mean, I don’t know whom I want to hug and cry. i just know that I want hug and cry in a such a person’s arms where I’ll feel secure and feel that everything will be okay. But I really don’t know why I have to look for that person because there are so many people around me who love me and understand me and make me feel wanted, loved, secure and everything other nice feeling. There is my sister, my mother, my father, my friend who I talk to over the phone, my friend who mails me everyday. But none of them seem the right person. I have even tried hugging the walls and crying, hugging the curtains and crying and even sitting on the bed and hugged my legs and crying but none of them work. The most irritating part is that, I have no clue why I want to cry. I just want to cry hard. And it it’s not like I want to cry all the time, Just suddenly i feel like, okay, now I want to cry, but why? i don’t know. I am just sitting here, crossing my fingers and hoping that either I get the person whom I want to cry to or this feeling just goes, because this felling is getting me down, down and down.