Thank You Everybody

Whenever I want to sit down and write a tribute to someone, one thing always confuses, who should I write the tribute to? There are so many people who we meet throughout our lives and whether we are close to them or not, at some point of time in our life, they all make a difference. ย Since wordpress has told me through its Daily Prompt that tomorrow the whole community, whoever comprises my little world , is going to see my blog, I have decided to tribute everyone and thank them all.

So, in the list of all those people whom I want to thank, topping the list will obviously be my Mumma and Puppa, they are very supportive people and very understanding. They may hurt me unknowingly at times, but I know their intentions are always to do the best for me. So thank you so much for being there. Next, of course, follows my sister, she makes we do all her work but still I love her. ๐Ÿ˜› She too hurts me lots of times but I know she loves me a lot, how much, maybe no one will ever know. Next I would thank the rest of my family, my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and even those relations whom I have only heard of and never met, thank you for being a par of my family and making me lucky to have relatives as supportive and fun as all of you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Next would follow a few special friends, starting with Akhila, my bestie and a friend who is one in a million. She is lazy, crazy and often pretends to be dumb ๐Ÿ˜› But she is understanding, supportive and has made me feel special about me, thank you Akhila for always being there. Next will follow Neha, what would I do without her. Her inspiring words and smiling face puts all my troubles at rest. Her stress free attitude has helped me change my perspective in life. Thank you for coming to my life a God sent Angle. Next would be the ‘Great Visalakshi’ ๐Ÿ˜› Jokes apart, she has made a drastic change in my life and helped me be strong, and of course taught me to be responsible and organised. Thank you very much ๐Ÿ™‚ Next comes of course Aadil, the guy with a low self esteem of himself but always there to encourage me and listen to my problems. My face is enough to tell him when I am upset, my mouth never needs to speak only. I still wonder how we were enemies in fourth grade, such silly kids. Thank you for coming into my life. ๐Ÿ™‚ Next is Anwesha, what would I do without a friend like you who listens and understands. Thank you for coming into my life, even though it has been only a small amount of time, you have made a huge difference.Next would be none other thank Saurav Dada for alwyas being that big brother whom I have never had and showing me the right way and always being so supportive. Thank you so much. Next will come of course IPKKND! That is something that must not be forgotten. First I would love to thank the directors, Lalit Mohan and Arshad Khan for making such a wonderful serial. Next I would like to thank the Production House, 4 Lions Films which would of course include thanking Gul Khan. then I would love to thank every single one of the actors, Sanaya Irani, for making that Khushi come to life who inspired me to be different and be strong, Barun Sobti, for making the ASR come to life and showing me why people behave in certain ways, Deepali Pansare for making the sweetest Payal ever, Akshay Dogra for being the cutest brother and Akash ever, Dajeet Bhanot, for making the cutest sister as Anjali, Abhaas Mehta, for making the best villain ever and for making me love to hate you ๐Ÿ˜› Utkarsha Nair for making me laugh with you ‘Hello Hie Bye Bye’ even when I was upset, Jayshree.T for aking the most adorable Nani ever, Karan Goddwani for making the most lovable brother i wish I had as NK, Sanjay Batra for being such an understanding father and enlightening me with some very good philosophies on life, Pyomori Mehta for being such a nice Garima, Abha Parmar, for being such a nice and cute Buaji, Swati Chintis, for being such a nice Dadi, whom again I loved to hate, Sana Khan for being such an awesome Lavanya ot La ๐Ÿ˜› Madhura Naik for being an awesome villain Sheetal and Finally Vishhesh Bansal for being the cute little Aarav. Without all of you, IPKKND would have never been what it was. It is a shame it had to end. Also I would LOVE to thank everybody else behind the success of this great show and making it my best friend.
After all this, I would love to thank everyone else who has come in to my life, be it for a moment for a long period of time, all you people have contributed in making a huge difference in my life. All my classmates since I was a kid till now, in 9th, for being such entertaining friends. Thanks to all those people who have hurt, insulted and back-stabbed me, because all of you have helped me in being stronger.
And Finally thank you to the most important person, Devimaiyya (God) without whom, I would have broken long ago, but She gave me strength to be strong, Thank you so much.
There is not one person in my life so far who has not made a difference. You may not have given solutions to me problems but you have helped me laugh, smile, enjoy and helped me become stronger. Thank you everyone. ๐Ÿ™‚

Yesterday’s Daily Post

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Don’t Let it Slip

If I could pause life and spend time with my family, it wouldn’t be anywhere in particular, but would be a place where we could all play our usual family games. In our rush of daily life, sometimes we forget our own family. At office colleagues are there to give us company, at school it is friends, but we forget that in a place called home there is a family, and it is always they in the end who’ll really be there. It often seems like, our house is just this place where we come to take rest after a tiring and long day, and a place where we eat. But that makes a house, not a home. A home is not built just with bricks but each brick has a unique warmth and love. That is why if I could stop time I’d stop it to play the various family games that we play. Hangman, Skateboarding, Angry Birds, JAM and so many more. Even though we do play these games quite often, more often than not it is in a hurry. My dad has to think of what he is going to in office the next day, my mom is busy wondering what she should cook for dinner, my sister is thinking which assignment’s deadline she has to meet and I am wondering what homework I have submit the next day. But since this can only be a fragment of my imagination, I’d rather play these games as often as I can and store these sweet moments up in my memories, making sure, I don’t let it slip.

I love you my Family ๐Ÿ™‚

Inspired by: Today’s Daily Promptย 

Am I that Bad?

When I was a girl of 3 years, I joined ISM and started schooling there from KG-1. Well, I was one of the youngest girl in my class since I was studying one class higher than I was supposed to but I guess I adjusted quite okay. I can’t really remember how my KG- 1 and KG-2 went but I remember that ever since I was in first grade, my schooling became a nightmare. The word ‘school’ sent shivers down my back, probably it was like being sent to Azkaban or maybe to those Gas Chambers that Hitler used to send the Jews to. But obviously one can’t bunk school everyday, can they? So I went to school and spent three and the half years friendless and then towards the middle of fourth grade, I became friends with this boy, who we shall name ‘A’. well, since he was my first friend, we got close and then I felt I ‘fell for him’. Well obviously, it was only a childhood infatuation and I got over it and all but I was a fool, I told him how I felt and ever since I went to fifth grade and our classes got shuffled, he has never spoken to me again. I was heart-broken and hurt for ages, but in fifth I met two girls who we’ll name ‘Ar’ and ‘Ad’, well, they made me realize that he was not worth my friendship and not worth crying over so I pushed myself and got over it. ย But at the end of fifth grade they both back-stabbed me and once again I was left lonely. When I went to sixth grade, it was another new class with fresh faces, and as I stood staring at the class, I was scared and nervous about whom to choose as friends because I knew, the friend I would choose in this class, would be with me for the next three years. I chose two girls as my friends because I knew them, some what vaguely from before, but once again at the end of sixth, I was back-stabbed. Well, as school school went on and I promoted with this class from sixth to seventh and seventh to eighth with the same classmates, the class became united and one happy class, with small enmities here and there which can be ignored. But maybe experience hadn’t taught me anything or maybe it is just my values that made me to this, but I gave the two girls who had back-stabbed me the previous year (In sixth) another chance, and this time, they insulted me, making me cry and break down. In the middle of seventh I finally got close to Neha and she became a very good friend after that. I finally and properly got over ‘A’ and gave still another chance to the two girls which in eighth they yet again took and threw away by insulting me in eighth, but this time I didn’t mind that much because I had Neha in my life for support and my class, was like a family and they gave me immense support through everything and so all was going well, except that those to two girls and another boy ‘W’, were ignoring me. Then I came to ninth, my class became shuffled again but my old classmates were still a close family and we always met. But here I am in ninth, once again in square one. I am staring out of the window, and thinking about this other guy who was my last year’s classmate, and we were good friends and he is now ignoring me. I tried talking to him and all he said was, “I don’t feel like talking to you.” This makes me realize even in India there are two girls I know ‘K’ and ‘S’ who don’t like me either, they talk bad about me behind my back, but I know it.
Every year, I find someone or the other,, who doesn’t like me, and ignores me. All of them can’t be stupid right? As I stand and watch all these people with turned backs (Other that ‘W’ who I am talking to again properly), and I really so bad? So bad, that every year there is someone or the other, who finds a reason to ignore me or best, for no reason at all?

Can You Ever Trust Anyone?

I was just reading a Harry Potter book again, ‘The Prisoner of Azkaban’. I came to the part where it says how Sirius Black betrayed Harry’s Mom and Dad (Though he actually didn’t). This part got me thinking, is there anyone we can fully trust? Is there anyone, who we can tell everything to, absolutely everything and feel that the person won’t judge us? In fact, even for me, even though I have so many people whom I tell things to, there is only one person whom I can tell EVERYTHING to without the fear of anything, and that is Akhila. Even though I know I can tell Dada everything, there is this one thing that I haven’t told him yet, and not because he will judge me, but because I can’t imagine how he will react. I am scared, what if he gets angry? Or maybe gets upset? I wouldn’t want to put any kind of strain in anyway to the relation we share. I mean the relation I share with him, it means everything to me and if anything happens to that relation, I’ll break.

It’s not like we hide things from people always because we fear being judged. Sometimes, we fear that we will but a spot in our relation with the person, sometimes we fear hurting the person, and when we love someone, we all know how hard it is to hurt that person, and how hard it is see your once upon a time happy relation, breaking in front of you.

So, i just want to thank God, for sending in my life, a person whom I can tell everything to, no matter what. Thank you Akhila for coming into my life.
This may not be the best blog I have posted but it is definitely one with a very deep meaning, even if not to any one else, but to me, because, I know, the pain of trust being shattered, I know the pain of picking the pieces up and joining it again, and I know that anyone who has gone through the same feelings and now is reading this, will know, even though this is not the best write up they have ever read, they will know the depth of it.

Another World

We smell the essence of each and everything around us. We smell the flowers around us, filling the air with a beautiful aroma. We sometimes smell the perfume of a best friend who is walking next to us. But some smells are just abstract. In the sense, they are not really things that you can smell but rather something that you feel. But somehow, in some indescribable way, they too can be smelled. And that one abstract thing, that when I smell transports me to another beautiful world is the most pure four lettered word, LOVE.

Love is a special feeling that can be found everywhere. If you walk down the streets, you’ll find a couple holding hands and walking happily, or maybe a brother helping his little sister to walk, or maybe just two best friends laughing and talking. They are all different types of people, with different thoughts but the one thing that connects them all, is love. The feeling to always stand up for someone you care, that is love. The feeling of always making them smile, that is love. The feeling to protect them all the time and make sure that no harm comes to them, that is love. The feeling to die yourself but make sure that not even the smallest of all troubles get to them, that is love. A feeling that two lovers share when they engrave their names on trees, the feeling that a mother feels, when she holds her new born child in her hand, a feeling that a sister feels when her brother hugs her tight to make her feel safe, all this is nothing but a simple feeling of love.

Love is simple, all you need to do is admit that you do love, if not to the person you love, at least to yourself, but we all make it complex. We either have ego, fear or just too much hatred within us to open up to ourselves and see where the love in our heart is.
So look around you and find that one person in your life for whom you’d be ready to do anything, for whom you’d be ready to lose anything, for whom you’d be ready to sacrifice anything. Find that one special person who has brought sunshine into your dark life, that one person who has made way for rays of hope to enter between clouds of hopelessness, and admit it to the person, whether it be your mom, your dad, your sister or any friend whom you love. Throw all your ego, all your fear and all your hatred and hug that person and tell them you love them, confess to them and smell the purity of the most beautiful feeling that transports to ‘Another World’.

Another World

Dear Dada

By nature I am not at all a frank person. My trust has been shattered many times and therefore, from experience, I am scared to trust anyone fully. Till a few years back, my only trust would be Akhila, but nearly two years ago, you came into my life. My first impression of you was that you were very quiet and reserved, and in a way, maybe my judgment about you was not wrong. But what did go wrong in that judgment was that I missed out a few very important details about you and well, I did not know just how important they’d be in my life.

I know that very often, by what people say and think about you, you feel hurt and down and low about yourself, but dada, you have no idea just how special you are. You are one unique person in this world and no one can ever replace you. You might not be the best person in the entire world and you may have many drawbacks but you still are very special, in your own unique way. You have qualities in you that are so nice, but you fail to recognize them because you go by what people tell and think about you. Dada, I know I have told this to you before but i just need to tell you again that you are that amazing big brother whom I always wished for, but never had. Dada thank you for always being there.

Lots of Love

Chamkeeli (Sunshine)

Big Bro

 

 

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Dear Mumma and Puppa

Dear Mom and Dad,
Before I start this letter, I’d like to inform you that I love both of you a lot. I know that you guys also love me a lot. But frankly, I am sorry to say, that sometimes, whether you intend to or you don’t, you end up making it look like you guys are disappointed with how I do somethings. You know, stuff like not liking Math and all? You make it seem like because my thinking is different from all of you, because my beliefs are unique and just because I am kind of like the black sheep in the family, you make me feel like what I am doing and thinking is wrong and that I should change who I am. I also know that you people don’t mean to harm me and your only aim in life is just to make a better future for me. But even you know as well as I do, that I am not bad. I am not doing anything wrong and that I am getting good marks and well, teachers and everybody else loves me. Then why should I change? Why should I become a new Chamkeeli just because you want me to be one? In fact technically, I wouldn’t even be Chamkeeli if I changed because, I am me and if I change, I won’t be the ‘Chamkeeli’ anymore right? So please, it is a request, just a simple one, and maybe it wouldn’t be too much to ask for, don’t try to change me, because I love myself for who I am and will always be happy that way.

P.S: Thanks for always being there for me and making me a girl luckier than most people in this world.

Love

Chamkeeli

Laughing and Crying at the Same Time…

Yesterday night has been a weird one. Yesterday, I started reading the book ‘The Perks Of Being a Wallflower’ by Stephen Chbosky. It is a really nice book and I enjoyed it a lot. However, at night, at around twelve, when my sister was chatting with her friend, I reached the end of the book and I started to cry. It was not awkward because I started to cry, it was just weird because the book has a happy ending and I cried because everything was just so happy. I mean, I wouldn’t say that the language of the book is really amazing and it holds amazing literature value or something but the way it is written is so beautiful that it really touches your heart.
I just sat there, hugging my knees smiling and crying at the same time. Happy at the happy ending and crying… even I don’t know why. My sister sat next to me and tried to console me but even that didn’t work and then after a while I started thinking about the last time I had cried this hard. So hard the my eyes were red. It was at that point that I remembered that the last time I had cried this hard, I was in a similar situation. I had been crying as well as smiling at the same time. It was when my best friend, IPKKND, ended. The whole day of 30th November 2012, I tried to ignore that fact that, that day would be the last episode I’d see, however, at night, when I finally sat to watch the final episode, it struck me, like a hammer on my head, that, this would be the last episode of my best friend. And I cried really hard, so hard that my eyes were red. But during the episode, there were few such moments that were very touching, in a happy way that I was smiling, rather laughing and crying at the same time. Something I didn’t think was possible.

It is a very weird situation to be in, to be happy and sad at the same time, but sometimes, things just touch your heart in such a way that all types of emotions come tumbling out, and when we get confused about what to do, we just cry, cry it all it all out.

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I Want to Cry, Though I Have No Clue Why

Over the last two weeks I have been feeling quite irritated. I mean I just want to hug someone and cry, and keep crying till my tears run dry. All of you must be thinking that if I want to cry then i should just cry it out right? Then why haven’t I done so yet. The problem is I am not getting the person whom I want to hug. I mean, I don’t know whom I want to hug and cry. i just know that I want hug and cry in a such a person’s arms where I’ll feel secure and feel that everything will be okay. But I really don’t know why I have to look for that person because there are so many people around me who love me and understand me and make me feel wanted, loved, secure and everything other nice feeling. There is my sister, my mother, my father, my friend who I talk to over the phone, my friend who mails me everyday. But none of them seem the right person. I have even tried hugging the walls and crying, hugging the curtains and crying and even sitting on the bed and hugged my legs and crying but none of them work. The most irritating part is that, I have no clue why I want to cry. I just want to cry hard. And it it’s not like I want to cry all the time, Just suddenly i feel like, okay, now I want to cry, but why? i don’t know. I am just sitting here, crossing my fingers and hoping that either I get the person whom I want to cry to or this feeling just goes, because this felling is getting me down, down and down.

Unanswered Questions

Life is filled with question that have no answers. Some people say that all ‘Whys’ have an answer. I am not sure if I can really believe that. I mean if I ask you, WHY do we feel sometimes, the way we feel. Will anyone be able to give me a perfect answer? I don’t think so. Everyone will give me different answers and some people will give me no answers at all. There are so many types of questions that I want to ask, but none of them have any answers and sometimes, there is no one to ask the question to at all.

I often wonder who I am and sometimes I know the answer but very often I am confused. I think do I actually know who I am? I have some basic aims in life, but I am pretty sure that does not define me, and if I ever ask anyone to define me, no two people ever give me the same answer. So at the end of the day I am still left thinking who I am. It is just irritating.
I often wonder why we have insecurities, why we are scared of losing things and people. Where does the fear come from? In fact I asked this to my sister just yesterday and she gave me an answer that did make sense but it still left me thinking and in the process I got new questions. It’s always like that. Hardly to I get the answer to my question that I am filled with new ones. They are all questions whose answers I will get or not, I really don’t know. With each passing year of my life, the number of questions increase and the number of them that get answered still remain the same, zero. With each passing year my faith in getting answers to my question reduces. But maybe someday someone will come along and answer all my questions and then finally I will be able to live without thinking so much. Or maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my life like I am living now, left thinking and waiting for my questions to be answered.