When I was a girl of 3 years, I joined ISM and started schooling there from KG-1. Well, I was one of the youngest girl in my class since I was studying one class higher than I was supposed to but I guess I adjusted quite okay. I can’t really remember how my KG- 1 and KG-2 went but I remember that ever since I was in first grade, my schooling became a nightmare. The word ‘school’ sent shivers down my back, probably it was like being sent to Azkaban or maybe to those Gas Chambers that Hitler used to send the Jews to. But obviously one can’t bunk school everyday, can they? So I went to school and spent three and the half years friendless and then towards the middle of fourth grade, I became friends with this boy, who we shall name ‘A’. well, since he was my first friend, we got close and then I felt I ‘fell for him’. Well obviously, it was only a childhood infatuation and I got over it and all but I was a fool, I told him how I felt and ever since I went to fifth grade and our classes got shuffled, he has never spoken to me again. I was heart-broken and hurt for ages, but in fifth I met two girls who we’ll name ‘Ar’ and ‘Ad’, well, they made me realize that he was not worth my friendship and not worth crying over so I pushed myself and got over it.  But at the end of fifth grade they both back-stabbed me and once again I was left lonely. When I went to sixth grade, it was another new class with fresh faces, and as I stood staring at the class, I was scared and nervous about whom to choose as friends because I knew, the friend I would choose in this class, would be with me for the next three years. I chose two girls as my friends because I knew them, some what vaguely from before, but once again at the end of sixth, I was back-stabbed. Well, as school school went on and I promoted with this class from sixth to seventh and seventh to eighth with the same classmates, the class became united and one happy class, with small enmities here and there which can be ignored. But maybe experience hadn’t taught me anything or maybe it is just my values that made me to this, but I gave the two girls who had back-stabbed me the previous year (In sixth) another chance, and this time, they insulted me, making me cry and break down. In the middle of seventh I finally got close to Neha and she became a very good friend after that. I finally and properly got over ‘A’ and gave still another chance to the two girls which in eighth they yet again took and threw away by insulting me in eighth, but this time I didn’t mind that much because I had Neha in my life for support and my class, was like a family and they gave me immense support through everything and so all was going well, except that those to two girls and another boy ‘W’, were ignoring me. Then I came to ninth, my class became shuffled again but my old classmates were still a close family and we always met. But here I am in ninth, once again in square one. I am staring out of the window, and thinking about this other guy who was my last year’s classmate, and we were good friends and he is now ignoring me. I tried talking to him and all he said was, “I don’t feel like talking to you.” This makes me realize even in India there are two girls I know ‘K’ and ‘S’ who don’t like me either, they talk bad about me behind my back, but I know it.
Every year, I find someone or the other,, who doesn’t like me, and ignores me. All of them can’t be stupid right? As I stand and watch all these people with turned backs (Other that ‘W’ who I am talking to again properly), and I really so bad? So bad, that every year there is someone or the other, who finds a reason to ignore me or best, for no reason at all?

Advertisements

One thought on “Am I that Bad?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s