I watch all of you talking to different people and laughing. I am just sitting alone, watching all of you. I am happy that all of you are smiling, because for me, there is no greater happiness, than to see my friends happy. But somewhere deep inside, I am scared. Why I feel scared is beyond my understanding. I am just insecure that you all will leave me behind, all alone like I have been left before. I am scared, you all will back-stab me just like I have been back-stabbed before. Please don’t get me wrong, I trust all of you a lot, but it is the experience with the friends I have had so far, or should I say with the ‘friends’, I’ve had so far, that scares me, leaves me insecure. I always try to assure myself that you people, you can never do this to me, but somewhere deep down this fragile heart of mine, I am still scared. Because I know that if this time anything happens to my friendship, or if any one of you hurt me, I will be heart-broken, and this time, I will not have the strength to pick those pieces up and join them back together. I will need a second person to come and do so for me, but maybe, even if a second person does arrive, I wonder if I will be able to trust him again? Really, don’t get me wrong okay, I know all of you love and care for me a lot but you all know, that I am a very sensitive person, no matter how strong I show on the outside. You all know that even of I am smiling outside, I might be dying inside but I’ll never show till you people push me to tell. Please, if you all read this, don’t get angry because you feel I don’t trust you. I trust you a lot, but these are just my insecurities, and maybe, time will heal all the wounds in the heart and then the insecurities will also disappear themselves. I just hope.


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