Dear Dada

By nature I am not at all a frank person. My trust has been shattered many times and therefore, from experience, I am scared to trust anyone fully. Till a few years back, my only trust would be Akhila, but nearly two years ago, you came into my life. My first impression of you was that you were very quiet and reserved, and in a way, maybe my judgment about you was not wrong. But what did go wrong in that judgment was that I missed out a few very important details about you and well, I did not know just how important they’d be in my life.

I know that very often, by what people say and think about you, you feel hurt and down and low about yourself, but dada, you have no idea just how special you are. You are one unique person in this world and no one can ever replace you. You might not be the best person in the entire world and you may have many drawbacks but you still are very special, in your own unique way. You have qualities in you that are so nice, but you fail to recognize them because you go by what people tell and think about you. Dada, I know I have told this to you before but i just need to tell you again that you are that amazing big brother whom I always wished for, but never had. Dada thank you for always being there.

Lots of Love

Chamkeeli (Sunshine)

Big Bro


A Story from A-Z

A beautiful Monday morning greeted me as I woke up, I wanted to go out and enjoy the day. But as it was a Monday, I needed to get up and get ready for school. Cursing my luck, I got up and went towards the washroom to get ready. Dreaming about that day as I was having a bath, made me late for my bus. Exasperated at being late, I hurried to finish my breakfast and get to the bus-stand. Finally, after running till my bus-stand, I reached there just in time for my bus to leave. Giving my thanks to God for saving me, I went and took a seat. Hoping that the day would be less exhausting than how it had started, I watched as the scenery, rushed past me, as the bus went on its way to school. I reached school, and walked lazily towards my class, surprised at the how unusually quite the corridors were. Just as I reached my class and kept my bag on the chair, I realized that all the children had already left for the morning assembly. Keeping my bag properly on the chair, I rushed out of class, towards the hall, to join my class.
“Late again?” a voice asked behind me, as I crept into the hall to take my place without being noticed.
Mumbling curses at whoever had caught me being late for the second time that I week, I turned to face the person who had spoken. Niharika Ma’m’s stern face greeted my face as I turned around.
“Oh God!” I thought, “Did she have to catch me again?” Patting my dress to brush away the wrinkles on it, I started at her as I wondered how I was supposed to answer her question. Quite a while passed in the odd silence and now I was starting to get nervous. Realizing that she was waiting for me to answer the question, all I could do was silently nod. Still looking at me with the same frustration in her eyes, she walked away from there. Until her figure completely disappeared I just stood there, expecting the worst. Valuable time kept ticking as I just stood there, wondering if I should go and join my class or continue to stand there. Wishing the assembly would get over a little faster, I just kept standing there like a pillar. Xylophones played in the background, as the assembly carried on. Yes, I thought as the xylophones played the beats of the school anthem, it just showed that the assembly was going to end. Zealously I prayed that my day wouldn’t get nay worse that this.

Story From A-Z

Someone Who Believes I Can

Many people in the world have lots of confidence in them and don’t need to be told that they can do something. Others, if have just one person to tell, they can do it, they’ll manage. Finally the third category is for those people who can’t manage with just one person telling them they can do it. They need many and if by any chance too many people tell them they can’t, they suffer a lot. This fact, no one can no better than me.
I have nearly grown up hearing all the time that I can’t. There were few people who seemed to believe that I could do something. There was only my sister who seemed to always believe that I could do things. That I wasn’t as useless as I felt. However, it just never seemed enough. Maybe I was a person who needed a bit too much but well, that was me and I couldn’t help it. I never trusted people too much and have always been distanced as I never found the perfect friend. Someone who really cared. Going to school was always my biggest nightmare. Thanks to God though, at the age of 4 I found a girl who used to study in my school. We started as a ‘Hie’ friends but soon got very close, especially when we realized that we live near each other. Unfortunately for me she changed school at the age of 5.  School continued to be a nightmare and all I could do was find excuses to bunk school. We met in the evening though. She was my bestest friend and will always remain so. She has been like an angel sent from heaven. The one who trusted and believed me like no one else had ever done. She always made me feel that that I could. For the first time I felt that I could and this would never have been possible without her. Akhila, that’s her name. She was always there for me when I needed her. She has given me a shoulder to cry all the time and wiped my tears dry. Cursed and helped me forget those who have been mean to me and was cheerful and happy when I was. Now that I think about it, life probably would have been impossible if she hadn’t come. I would have never felt like I could. With each passing year of school life I felt more confident of who I was and what I could do. At the age of 10 due to her father’s job change she had to leave but even from another country she always had the time. She was never too busy to help me feel okay. A whole year passed without her but even through the huge distance I never felt her absence. It was like she was always there for me.
Now one year later she is back but she still hasn’t lost hope from me. Even today she believes that even if no one else can, I can do it. Even now she knows how to make my smile never disappear. Today if I am writing then it is only because of her. I had always thought that writing was not my cup of tea but because my sister wrote I tried my hand at it too. To tell the truth, even I know that it is not my thing to write but even now she has not let me lose hope. She is still there next to me to tell me that even I can write. She hears my plots and pushes me till I finally complete. Today sitting in front of the computer and writing makes me realise had it not been for her, I would have stopped writing long ago but only because she believed that I could do it too was the reason I continued. Today I may not be an amazing writer or the most successful person but one thing I always know is that whatever happens I can do what I want to. All I need to know that I am not alone. She will always and forever be there with me. Right now, for every moment that she has made special, all I can do is thank God for sending the most wonderful birthday gift on my fourth birthday. The person who believes ‘I can’.

Image– Picture from this site

A Message to Someone Special

Just like a Husband is incomplete without his wife
And food is bland without any spice
You my dear sister are the one
Who completes my life. 🙂

I know that this not the perfect poem, nor is it something that you would really call amazing but whatever else this poem may be, this poem is from the bottom of my heart.

Didi, even though you make me do favors for you all the time and make me pack your bag. Even though you get angry at me even when it is not my fault and never wake up when I tell you to, I still love 🙂 😀 <3. You have given me lots of things in life that no one has ever been able to give me. We both know that the place IPKKND and Devimaiyya take in my heart, well, you can never replace them but the special position that you hold in my heart, no one, not even Devimaiyya or IPKKND can replace that.

You may be short tempered and you may call me useless and you may even hurt me sometimes without knowing, but it is only you who can make me happy after a picture of me has been taken by you even though I hate facing the camera. It is only you who makes me sit up till two at night before school to talk and laugh. It is only you who watches every scene I tell of IPKKND and watches every VM of IPKKND with me. Only you do all the stupid acting with me only to see if I am acting good enough or not and only you who can drive away my silly fears and the you are the only person who I allow to play with my hair. 😛

To some people you may be excellent at studies, to some people you may be lazy, to others you may be crazy and to still others you may seems sad but to me, you are just my sister, however you are, short tempered, crazy, sometimes upset, whatever it may be I shall still always love you for who you are.

The song line that has been going on in my head for a while is dedicated specially to you, so I thought as the blog gave me the opportunity to tell you just how much I love you, I shouldn’t let the chance slip.

Phoolon ka taaron ka sabka kehna hai
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri behna Hai
Saari Umar Hume Saang Rehna Hai
Phoolon Ka Taaron Ka Sabka Kehna Hai
(The stars the the flowers, they all agree and say
That my sister is one in a million
Through our whole life we have to stay together)

Thank you for always being there.


Aimless Journeys

When I was in third or fourth grade, and read about lives of nomadic people, I used to always wonder how hard it must be to live a life like that. Never sure of where to go, what to do, just going in groups, where destiny takes you. It used to seem to me that living the life of a nomad would mean walking aimlessly and landing up in a place you don’t know but just getting used to it because it fulfills your requirements, at least temporarily. I used always thank my lucky stars that I don’t have a life like that. I used to always thank God that he gave me a strong roof over my head with no fear of losing it and just walking aimlessly to where my feet and heart lead me to. However, as I grew up I realized that at some points in life I wish I was a nomad. Not exactly a nomad but just walking here and there, where destiny wants to take me. Often in life I want to get away from all the stress, the pressure, the screaming, the shouting and the nagging and just go and walk without any aim.

By character, I am a very emotional person and get attached to things very easily. Throwing, giving away or having to leave behind something that I am attached to is one of the hardest things for me to do. Maybe that is why sometimes I feel like living the life of a nomad. In that case before I can get attached to a place I am off from there.
I have been living in Oman for the last 10 years and often my dad says that he would like to leave and that really hurts me very hard. The thought of leaving the place I call home and a place where I started my schooling, made my first friends and a place where all my memories rest is very hard.

At times when I am upset, i just go out and walk, walk anywhere my heart leads me. I escape all the tension in the atmosphere and go away. Sometimes I feel like running away, far from all this tension and just move about from place to place. Nevertheless, I know that all this is easier said than done. I know very well that I am lucky to be able to have a home that is steady. I am lucky to live such an easy and happy life compared to many people in the world so for now, it is better to stay at home than become a nomad.

Camera Shy

Getting captured by the camera is the dream of most of the people, especially girls, who I know. They like to smile and pose and later get looked at and praised by people, commenting how pretty they look. However, when I am asked if I’d like to pose with them, I’d rather say no and stay away from the camera. I’d prefer to sit and watch people pose, or maybe be the person who praises rather than be the person who is being captured.

I have never really been able to explain why I hate being in front of the camera. I am just never pleased after a shot of me has been taken. I am always scared when I am asked to pose if I look presentable or not.
Ever since I have known myself, I have always done things thinking about what people will think, maybe that is the reason why I feel shy to face a camera.
My sister who is greatly interested in photography can often pose as a sort of trouble in such a situation. She is ever ready with the camera to get a few shots of me or maybe shoot a music video of me. Doing all this for her is okay but she is always jumping with excitement to show it to all our friends and relatives and that is the part I don’t like. I always wonder what they’ll think about me and if they’ll judge me.

Looking back at when I was younger I remember loving to pose for my sister but maybe as I grew up I became self conscious or maybe it is just a phase that I am going through and maybe someday I’ll be all set to flash my set of teeth and smile in front of the camera again